10. She drives a brand new Lexus, but makes only $30,000 a year, has three kids, no husband, and gets no child support.
9. She asks for three months off to visit her chateau in the south of France.
8. He wears a pinkie ring with a diamond the size of a Buick.
7. Since he's been working at your school, you seem to have twice as much Title IV money as you've ever had, yet enrollments have been declining.
6. You looked at a printout listing all the active financial aid recipients the other day, and even though you have only 200 students, there are 400 on the list.
5. Although she forthrightly stated on her employment application that she suffers from bi-polar disorder, last month she joyfully announced that she's been healed and no longer needs her medicine.
4. Nobody ever seems to drop out of school any more, on paper at least, although you don't see any more students in the hallways than usual.
3. Even though your school was placed on reimbursement six months ago, more money than ever is coming in from ED.
2. You overheard him telling a student to "just sign your mother's name right here" the other day.
1. The last four years' editions of the Federal Student Aid Handbook are on a bookshelf in the financial aid office, still in the shrink-wrap.